Is it best to rehome? tips for a hard decision

Sometimes when you take a new dog into your home you are prepped with all kinds of information about them. The shelter or breeder has filled you in on what to expect and despite the odd chewed slipper, everything is smooth sailing. Fantastic.

But sometimes, we get surprises. We end up with dogs that are more than we bargained for and they turn our lives completely upside down. I remember getting the message every shelter worker dreads: The trial adoption is not going to work. Or worse, an adopted dog must be returned due to behaviors that began to surface only once they were in a home setting.  

For those families, I’d like to express my sincere understanding. If it’s any consolation our hearts all break too when that dog comes back. Even if we all know it’s the right choice.

Here are a few things to consider if you're facing the difficult choice to move forward with your new pup or search for another loving home.

NOTE: Your rescue/breeder, or an experienced positive reinforcement negative punishment trainer are your lifelines in these situations. Do not hesitate to reach out for help. Let's get into it.

1. Are you willing to consult a professional trainer? For how long?

Unless you are a trainer or are willing to devote an insane amount of time to learning, studying, and practicing canine behavior modification you will likely need to consult a trainer at least once. Depending on the severity of your problem you may need to hire a trainer long term (months or even years) to get to a place you are happy with. Hiring a capable and experienced trainer is one of the best moves you can make in this situation. It can also be rather costly and is not always a cost people consider when they first get their dog. Although worth the investment, a trainer may be out of budget for some people so it is important to think about whether you will have reliable support accessible should you decide to move forward with your pup.

2. How much time can you honestly devote to training and PRACTICING with your dog

Once you decide if hiring a trainer is something you could do if needed, you have to determine if you can use the information they give you and actively practice it. I don’t know if there's a trainer out there who doesn’t have to remind people to do their homework. Life is crazy busy, and I truly do not judge anyone who tells me they are stretched so thin that doing X, Y, and Z sounds impossible. But, depending on your issue it may be unrealistic to expect the dog to be successful in your home without that work.

Some behaviors require far more attention than others, and there is also an element of risk. For example, if someone cannot follow through on proper potty training the worst thing that will happen is you’ll buy a lot more paper towels, and now and then you might step in pee. If, on the other hand, you do not follow through on instructions for resource guarding and a visitor comes over unaware of your dog’s need for space you could have a bite on your hands. Even if you return your dog to the shelter or breeder following a bite the likelihood of them being adopted again goes way, way down.

So, weigh it out. Can you address this problem responsibly given the time and energy resources you have right now? If not, the kinder option might be to give your dog to a family that can before there is any bite drama.

3. Is your dog a risk to the children in your life?

This is a big one. Children are the most common victims of dog bites and due to their height and our human nature of sticking our faces together (which dogs are not always fans of, by the way), they are most often bitten in the face. Nothing will kill a dog faster than biting a child, and no parent wants to rush their child in for stitches because their little one unknowingly did the wrong thing at the wrong time.

Young children can not be expected to always adhere to safety rules without the presence of a vigilant parent so think about this one carefully if you are concerned about any kind of aggression.

4. Is your dog disrupting the quality of life of your other pets?

Are your dogs fighting on a regular basis?  Is your cat in danger of being used as a chew toy? If the other pets in your home are stressed out, not eating, having potty accidents out of the blue and there are no signs of improvement over time it may be time to consider if the new addition is truly working out. Maybe they would fare better in a home with playmates more aligned with their energy levels and personality.

5. Could you picture a home environment that would make many (or all) of their behaviors a non-issue?

Is there one change that would make all these problems go away? For example, a border collie in the apartment of a single mom with three small children would be an absolute nightmare. Living with that dog would be like living with a black and white Tasmanian devil and would push even the most Gondi-like person over the edge. Move that dog to a sheep farm and suddenly you’ve got the perfect animal for a Disney movie.

If one thing changes and all problems disappear, maybe it's better to make that change.

I hope this information helped to clear the path for you, even just a little. My best wishes to you and your furry family. No matter what it may look like in the future.

Anna